God has taught me a few things

Well with my last post, things were going really good, and I had had so much fun on Monday with the kids, as I had already described... but come Tuesday, I was definately given my share of challenges and stress. I woke up on Tuesday morning, and my first thoughts were how I really missed my own bed at home. Not that I wanted to be home yet, but sleeping on a bed that is not my own didn't give me a great nights rest... so I was pretty tired. Luckily Beth, Becca, Ramona (she comes with us to volunteer with the kids at the House On The Rock, and she is SUCH a blessing), and I took a taxi instead of walking so I didn't have that to tire me out.

But when it came time for photography, I was to take the groups down to the market to take pictures of fruit. It was chaos. In the first group, kids were taking pictures on the way there and back, so it was very slow moving, kids were all over the place and I didn't know where half of them were, it was hard to get them all to pay attention to me at once, and I thought that I had lost a kid at one point. As it turned out, it was only me having counted wrong, but it just added to my stress level none the less. The second group went out later and I decided to wait to pass out the camera's until we got there, but half way to the market I realized that I was short a camera, and was going to have to go back to grab one. Thankfully, Aaron agreed to go back and get it for me, and I went and caught up with the group. When we got to the market, even though we had all the cameras we needed now, it still felt completely hectic, and I was so incredibly thankful beyond belief for everyone who helped me out during the photography session... for example, Joe was always right wherever I needed him and his voice, because his voice can get their attention a whole lot better than mine can!!! :-) But still, I ended the day extreamly exhausted, worn out, and so glad to have the stress of the day over with.

However, after playing my flute and taking pictures with the elderly, reviewing the pictures I took, refecting on the day with the group as a whole, with Beth, Becca and Ramona on the balcony, and on my own on the balcony after everyone had gone to bed, my outlook on the day changed. I realized that all of the things that stressed me out during the day, really weren't that big of a deal, and that had I just stopped, taken one step backwords and taken a deep breath, my day could have, and would have been so much more positive. When I thought about it, the fact that I felt like the kids were all over the place, really is pretty normal for Romania. These kids walk home every single day by themselves, and they know the area 1000x better than I do, so if anyone should be worried about anybody not coming back to the House on the Rock... it would be me, not the kids haha. :) When I thought that I lost a kid, I should have just taken a big breath and calmly recounted, and I would have realized that things were alright. When I realized that I was missing a few cameras, instead of going out of my mind and letting myself get frazzeld, I should have just calmly told myself, ok we are short a cameras but kids can share, or I can even give one of them my camera to use and out their SD card in it, no big deal.

 I even realized when I was thinking back on the day that God had tried to give me a bit of a reality check during the day, and I pretty much forgot about it and ignored it. When we were taking out the second group to the market, we were already running late and they weren't going to have much time to take many pictures. Well we had maybe gotten 30 to 40 yards when I realized that a few of the girls weren't with us, they were over at a table talking to somebody who was not from the House on the Rock. I went over to them, a little frustrated, and fully ready to tell them to come on, and that we need to go. I got over there and just as I was about to speak I realized that they weren't just standing around chatting, they were translating. The people at the table must not have been able to speak Romanian, and they couldn't understand the waiter, so these two girls were over helping them by translating; and here I was, frustrated, frazzled, stressed, and getting ready to hurry them along, when really, what they were doing was so much more important than sticking to the plan. That was totally God's reality check for me, but I completely forgot about it until that night.

Well I told myself that my next blog post was NOT going to be as long as my first. I didn't figure many people were going to want to read another book!! ;-) But the thing is, is that I learned a lot through prossessing the day yesterday... and I think it took all of that stress for me to realize how big of a deal I can make things that really aren't that big of a deal, and how instead, that if I make sure that I am just following God's plan, He has so much bigger, better and more important things for me to see, and my job is to keep myself from being blinded by the things that shouldn't be part of my concentration or attitude. Looking back, I realized that even though it seemed hectic, people were so helpful to me, and the kids all had so much fun, they are so full of laughter, joy and smiles... and by letting myself get so overwhelmed, I almost missed the very fingerprints of God in each and every one of those kids. I learned that when you stop and focus on the all of good that's happening, all of the little bit of bad just seems to melt away. The main reason God brought us on this trip, was not to hang out with the group, not to have fun, or do the things we want to do, although that is all part of it, but we were called here simply to be a shining light to all those around us. We came to Romania to let God take our lives and let them be living lamps to shine His awsome glory to the people here, He brought us here so that we can see the shining light of God ourselves through the Romanians, and He brought us here so we can bring that same heart of letting God shine through us and letting Him reveal Himself to us, back home. If we're not carful and have the wrong attitude, we will miss it. I have decided that I do not want to miss it anymore. The song Open the Eyes of My heart Lord came into mind last night, and let me just say that today, God most definately opened the eyes of my heart.

Blessings from Romania,

-Abby